Rider of the Storm
WOW. God is Crazy!!!
I have been visualizing the whole political mess surrounding my thesis as a very complicated, real-time chess game. With 5 kings. That move more like queens. Well, some of the pieces have revealed themselves to actually be queens, but still... way too many kings. And I am a pawn, trying to make it to the other side. But I can only see a few squares ahead in a few directions. Are any of the kings on my side?? However, I was reminded that there was a 6th king - and He is definitely for me. I am where He wants me to be.
Well, this week blew my "chess board" view wide open - and, man! is the board in my favour! I am so relieved. Much of the department is upset with my one supervisor for placing this political game on my shoulders. I am far better protected than I thought and I am not a pawn (not a queen, either - but not quite a pawn). I am free to pursue my topic of interest and don't have to do the part that I am not comfortable with. I am able to get on with actual research (woohoo!).
Friday was an incredible day.
I walked into school early - and saw a bald eagle riding on storm currents in the swirling snow. It triggered a memory of a conversation with a friend regarding trials in life - he loved the "storms" of life. Having spent my entire life in violent and scary situations, I have no great love for conflict, but fear it. Much as an eagle chick that was buffeted and soaked by storms would likely hate and fear storms. "But I am changing," I thought to myself, "maybe one day I will like storms too."
So.. gave my presentation. Four times (trust me; it's great practice). Got grilled with q's, laser pointer died on me mid presentation. Students are then kicked out after so the department can discuss our stuff. And... I get to do what I want.
This doesn't mean I'm off the hook. Anything but - it means I have less room for error. 'Cause if I screw up - well, my now sole supervisor is never going to hear the end of this one. But this pressure I can handle. The pressure before was oppressive. This pressure will drive me from behind, sending me flying towards my goal. This storm I know I can take.
I may like storms in the end, after all.
I have been visualizing the whole political mess surrounding my thesis as a very complicated, real-time chess game. With 5 kings. That move more like queens. Well, some of the pieces have revealed themselves to actually be queens, but still... way too many kings. And I am a pawn, trying to make it to the other side. But I can only see a few squares ahead in a few directions. Are any of the kings on my side?? However, I was reminded that there was a 6th king - and He is definitely for me. I am where He wants me to be.
Well, this week blew my "chess board" view wide open - and, man! is the board in my favour! I am so relieved. Much of the department is upset with my one supervisor for placing this political game on my shoulders. I am far better protected than I thought and I am not a pawn (not a queen, either - but not quite a pawn). I am free to pursue my topic of interest and don't have to do the part that I am not comfortable with. I am able to get on with actual research (woohoo!).
Friday was an incredible day.
I walked into school early - and saw a bald eagle riding on storm currents in the swirling snow. It triggered a memory of a conversation with a friend regarding trials in life - he loved the "storms" of life. Having spent my entire life in violent and scary situations, I have no great love for conflict, but fear it. Much as an eagle chick that was buffeted and soaked by storms would likely hate and fear storms. "But I am changing," I thought to myself, "maybe one day I will like storms too."
So.. gave my presentation. Four times (trust me; it's great practice). Got grilled with q's, laser pointer died on me mid presentation. Students are then kicked out after so the department can discuss our stuff. And... I get to do what I want.
This doesn't mean I'm off the hook. Anything but - it means I have less room for error. 'Cause if I screw up - well, my now sole supervisor is never going to hear the end of this one. But this pressure I can handle. The pressure before was oppressive. This pressure will drive me from behind, sending me flying towards my goal. This storm I know I can take.
I may like storms in the end, after all.
posted by NinjaRaven at 3:16 PM
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